


With A Heart Full To Bursting

by starchase



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, learning how to be together, soft fic for soft boys, they're a bit cheesy, this is literally just nearly 4000 words of pure sap and sweetness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 04:44:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13403730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starchase/pseuds/starchase
Summary: Love, Seokmin thinks, seems a tricky thing to traverse. Especially when you're Seokmin, inexperienced and suddenly shy and lacking words, when usually he's never either of those things.Or: Two boys fall in love, and learn how to grow together.





	With A Heart Full To Bursting

**Author's Note:**

> Just a fic I wanted to write to explore some soft feelings for my soft boys. I love seokgyu and I really wanted to contribute some fic for my favourite ship! I wrote this imagining it as non-idol AU, but you can read it as non AU as well I suppose! I listened to [Moln by Menke](https://open.spotify.com/track/0TCfN6JFmBoH7mDWt4gMw7) as I wrote this song, and it's basically poetry, so it might add an extra layer to listen as you read. 
> 
> Thanks to [@CatchTheGhost](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CatchTheGhost/pseuds/CatchTheGhost) for beta-ing and the general advice/encouragement you always give me!

Love, Seokmin thinks, seems a tricky thing to traverse. Especially when you're Seokmin, inexperienced and suddenly shy and lacking words, when usually he's never either of those things.  
  
And yet here he is, with the object of his affection standing in front of him – standing tall and handsomely imposing in front of him and good lord, are his knees feeling _weak_ , what is wrong with him? - and the words just won't come. It's as if Mingyu's smile, a little shy too, but warm and earnest, has stolen all the words from Seokmin.  
  
All he can do is let out a long, low, breath of air, and feel awkward. How should he be standing? Is he supposed to be doing something with his arms? Why do arms suddenly seem so useless and inconvenient?  
  
“Seok?”  
  
When Seokmin looks, really looks, he can see the nervous twist in Mingyu's lips, how brightly his dark eyes are shining, as he looks down at Seokmin. It looks to Seokmin as if every part of Mingyu's being just _wants_ , and doesn't know how to deal with that wanting. That's how Seokmin feels, anyway, and he thinks he can feel it reflected back in Mingyu, too.  
  
“Y-yes?”  
  
“Let's just...sit? And hang out? Talk?”  
  
Eagerly, maybe too eagerly, Seokmin nods his head; he does it so many times that he looks ridiculous, but it makes Mingyu laugh, and as they both sink down into the couch, that familiar, easy laugh loosens the too-taut strings tied between them. Gives them room to breathe, to be.  
  
They sit close, shoulders and thighs touching, and leave it there for now.  
  
Words finally seem to find their way back into Seokmin's throat, and they bubble up and out of him all on their own, as words are prone to do with Seokmin, when he has them. “And I thought that confessing was going to be the hard part!”  
  
Mingyu takes it as the joke it's meant to be. He laughs, nudges Seokmin's shoulder with his own, a familiar gesture. “You idiot.”  
  
It brings that moment back to both their minds, though, and that's kind of what they need just then, the reminder of how they'd gotten to this point, of why they're here, alone together.  
  
Seokmin had thought that he'd either been feeling brave, or stupid, that day, when he'd finally said something. To him, it had felt like he and Mingyu might have been dancing around each other for ages, Seokmin thinking, feeling, _almost_ sure, that Mingyu really was flirting with him sometimes. Trying to read between the lines and the looks, to figure out if Mingyu had been feeling anything like Seokmin had for so, so many months by then. That had been the exhausting part, and a tired, doubtful, Seokmin had finally snapped one day, after Mingyu had done another of his is-he-or-isn't-he flirting moments, and Seokmin had just stated outright his affections without really thinking. He wouldn't have done it, he was sure, if he'd been thinking at the time.  
  
He remembers the dumbstruck look on Mingyu's face with such fondness, the way Mingyu had almost choked on nothing more than his own surprise, as the reality of Seokmin's words sank into his mind, into his skin, into his heart.  
  
Then, he'd thought that that moment, between words Seokmin couldn't take back, and words Mingyu still had yet to say – a moment that had sat, heavy and frightening, for what felt an eternity, on Seokmin's shoulders – had been the difficult part.  
  
Now he knows that this, trying to find the path between feelings declared and shared, is the truly difficult part. Because he doesn't know what he's doing, and he feels ridiculous.  
  
“Idiot,” Mingyu says again, pulls Seokmin from his memories. He opens his mouth to protest this, but Mingyu's soft breath of laughter stops him. “Let's just watch some TV or something?” He suggests, and Seokmin thinks it's probably to get him to stop overthinking things. Mingyu knows him well. Seokmin seems to always either only think too much, or not think quite enough, but maybe Mingyu can help him learn to find that balance.  
  
“Yeah, watching something sounds good.”  
  
And it is good. They find themselves pretty much cuddled up on the couch together, and more of Seokmin's attention is on the way Mingyu's arm feels around him, the warmth of Mingyu's body where it presses against his own, rather than on the ridiculous comedy they found to watch together. His every sense is so full of Mingyu, and like this he feels fluttery, excited, but happy.  
  
This, this is a good start.  
  
He can get used to this, Seokmin thinks, as Mingyu laughs loudly at the television, the sound burying itself within Seokmin's shoulder, and his heart.  
  
  
*  
  
  
“Is this okay?”  
  
“You don't...you don't have to ask.”  
  
There's a dizzying, heady kind of feeling running through Seokmin's body, making his nerves dance and jangle with energy, at knowing that he can touch Mingyu. It's a powerful feeling. Things he'd wished he could do with Mingyu, when he was still pining away pathetically. When before, he'd see Mingyu and Seokmin's fingers would just itch to take hold of Mingyu's hand, lace their fingers together. Now he can. Or those moments where he'd (entirely accidentally) just stare at Mingyu's too-handsome face and Seokmin's face would feel hot all over at the thought of kissing him.  
  
Now, he can. Especially because Seokmin, being the kind and considerate person that he is, has made sure to ask first.  
  
“But I want to,” Seokmin insists, and now that he knows it's okay he can't help but let his hands wander, fingers slowly exploring the line of Mingyu's shoulder. “I feel like I should.”  
  
There's an arm around Seokmin's waist, and he feels one of Mingyu's hands pressed up against the small of his back. His body feels hot, even through his shirt, where Mingyu touches him. They're so close, it makes the breath shake, inside Seokmin's body.  
  
“If you stop to ask me every time you touch me...”  
  
Seokmin raises an eyebrow, feeling a small flush of bravery. “Oh?” He slides his fingers along the back of Mingyu's neck, a light, teasing touch. He can feel the breath Mingyu let's out, against his face, beneath his fingers. “What?” He's not sure where this sudden surge of flirtation has come from, but Seokmin's going to see where it takes him, especially because the flustered look on Mingyu's face is particularly charming.  
  
“You'll be in trouble.”  
  
“Hmm.” Seokmin draws the sound out, low in his throat, and he feels the little shudder that seems to go through Mingyu's body at that. He steps closer still, looks up into Mingyu's slowly flushing face. He knows his is doing the same – this is all so very new to Seokmin, but he's still riding that giddy, powerful little high he's on, and that's the only reason he can say what he's about to say out loud – that, and the fact that he hasn't stopped to consider his words, as usual.  
  
“Maybe I want to be in trouble.”  
  
The sound Mingyu makes in response is a sound that will haunt Seokmin's dreams for nights to come, he knows. He's surprised, because that's probably the worst attempt at flirting he's ever made, but hey, if it's working for Mingyu (and oh, it's working for Mingyu, he knows) he's not going to draw any attention to it.  
  
  
*  
  
  
It seems their thing now, to almost entirely ignore whatever movie or television show they're trying to watch when they're together. In Seokmin's defence, Mingyu is entirely too distracting, what with his stupidly handsome face and everything. It was much more interesting to just stare at Mingyu, than to try and focus his attention on something lesser. So he tells himself, anyway.  
  
The laptop lays at the bottom of the bed, half forgotten, the movie still playing in the background. Seokmin's been trying to at least pretend to watch it, he doesn't _want_ Mingyu to know how distracting his face is, that would be terrible. But there are fingers brushing through Seokmin's hair, slowly, casually, and Mingyu's all but snuggled up against Seokmin's side; it's really quite adorable, actually, Mingyu being the cuddler, trying to make himself smaller to fit beside Seokmin. He wonders if Mingyu knows he does it, or if it's just a habit now, after being taller than most people for so long.  
  
Seokmin glances over, sees Mingyu just staring at him, and suddenly feels himself having a small, internal moment of panic. Why is Mingyu staring at him like that? Is there something wrong with his face? (There shouldn't be, Seokmin had looked in a mirror at some point today). Is Mingyu judging him over something? He's never seen that look on Mingyu's face before, and it makes him nervous.  
  
“What?” He asks. “Why are you looking at me like that?”  
  
Mingyu blinks, as if he's only just now being made aware that he's been staring; he looks as if he's coming up for air. He smiles, a little embarrassed. “I just...like looking at you?” He offers, a little shyly. “And,” he continues, after a moment, “I guess, I still can't get over that I can sit here and do this with you, you know? Look at you, and touch you and...and stuff.”  
  
Seokmin's heart stumbles over itself in his chest, tries to find it's usual rhythm again. For a moment he's a little bit concerned, because he doesn't want his cause of death to be due to a heart that forgot how to beat because of Kim Mingyu's sweet, cheesy sentiments. That would be embarrassing. He's smiling though, even as he feels all fluttery and warm and ridiculous. He's not sixteen, he quietly tries to admonish himself, he shouldn't be feeling as giddy as he does. But...  
  
“That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me,” he admits.  
  
Mingyu looks a mixture of pleased and shy, and it's possibly the most endearing expression Seokmin has ever seen cross his face before. Why is Mingyu so cute, he thinks, mentally having to update his cause of death to also include: Kim Mingyu's cute face, as well.  
  
He reaches out with one hand, brushes his fingers through Mingyu's bangs, and the fact that he can just reach out and do these things now is still a new fascination to him too, just as Mingyu said.  
  
“Me too.”  
  
Mingyu's smile disappears, as sudden realisation seems to hit him. “Oh,” he says, staring at Seokmin, eyes wide and earnest. “Oh, no. We're one of those sappy couples, aren't we? Who gross out all our friends?”  
  
Seokmin can't help but laugh at how serious Mingyu looks and sounds.  
  
“Oh no. I don't want to be one of _those_ couples.”  
  
Seokmin let's his fingers slide along Mingyu's shoulder, for comfort, and also for himself if he's being honest, because he likes feeling the strength of Mingyu's shoulders beneath his palm. “We're fine, don't worry. We're a great couple. We're adorable, and everyone loves us. Plus, we look really good together.”  
  
That's enough to wipe the cloud of worry from Mingyu's face, and have him smiling again. Seokmin feels a warmth growing within him.  
  
“You're right, we do look good together.”  
  
“See. It's fine.” He laughs quietly – quietly for Seokmin, anyway – and shuffles closer still. “You're ridiculous, you know that?”  
  
“You never let me forget it.”  
  
“It's important for you to remember.”  
  
This, Seokmin thinks, this is easy, and he enjoys how the usual joking and teasing they'd always shared as friends is still there, but growing into something more now, just as they are. It makes his heart soar.  
  
“I really want to kiss you right now.”  
  
Mingyu's words bring his heart back to the ground with a heavy thud. A few firm, heavy, thuds, as it starts to race. He's sure Mingyu can feel the shiver that works it's way through Seokmin's body, with how close they are right now. It colours Mingyu's eyes in a different light, he realises.  
  
Seokmin licks his lips, his mouth suddenly feeling strangely dry. “Then why don't you?”  
  
This question seems to give Mingyu pause for thought, as if he hasn't quite considered it until Seokmin suggested it, and goodness, if that isn't possibly the _other_ most adorable expression Seokmin has ever seen grace Mingyu's face. Kim Mingyu is, in many ways, going to be the death of Seokmin, he thinks, with all the different ways he's making Seokmin's heart leap and skip and flutter; all things, he thinks, a heart really shouldn't be doing.  
  
“Good point,” Mingyu agrees, after consideration. There's a flash of teeth to the smile he gives Seokmin though, and he's learnt now that this is Mingyu's flirting, teasing face. He likes that face a lot, too, he thinks.  
  
The credits of their abandoned movie play out across the laptop screen, the quiet backdrop to the much louder soundtrack of their beating hearts and soft, gasping breaths, as Mingyu leans in and takes Seokmin at his word.  
  
  
*  
  
  
There comes a time, Seokmin notices, when it grows easier for them to touch each other, show affection, and be close. There's less awkward, breathless laughing when a kiss misfires; less shy, embarrassed smiles when they touch. It's an amazing feeling, Seokmin thinks, when they reach that point where they're more comfortable being around each other as a couple, but every touch and kiss and whispered word is still enough to send Seokmin's heart soaring to giddy heights. And they're still learning new things about each other all the time, which is exciting. And sometimes embarrassing, when it's Seokmin on the receiving end.  
  
Like when they were trying to explore a little more intimacy, and navigate through new and unknown territory. Mingyu had just stared at Seokmin for what felt like moments dangling in eternity, threatening to drop but never quite managing to, and Seokmin had started to feel a little shy, because really, he wasn't much to look at with his shirt off and he knew it. But there was Mingyu, in all his earnestness, just drinking Seokmin in.  
  
“Stop,” Seokmin had asked, laughing quietly, trying to cover his sudden bout of shyness.  
  
Mingyu had smiled, his gaze softening a little from it's intensity, but not losing any of the affection. He'd leaned in closer, and brought his hands down to Seokmin's waist, fingers gliding across bare skin, touching and exploring. Except, Seokmin had started to wriggle a little, and laugh, louder this time.  
  
“What is it? What's wrong?”  
  
This had been when they were not quite as comfortable as they had recently grown to be, and Mingyu had sat up, looking so endearingly worried, that Seokmin had felt his heart swell, and had worried it might just outgrow his chest at that rate. It hadn't, luckily.  
  
“Nothing,” he'd said, fingers hooking around Mingyu's wrist to draw him back down. “Nothing's wrong. Keep going.”  
  
Mingyu had looked doubtful. “Why were you laughing? Is it funny?”  
  
As they had discovered, Seokmin was ticklish, and whilst Mingyu had soon found pleasure in teasing Seokmin about it, Seokmin had been embarrassed. Stupid body, it was supposed to be enjoyable, feeling his boyfriend's hands explore the lines and ridges of his body, not _tickle._  
  
Eventually, though, they also learn the trick to making it not tickle, and Seokmin's not sure now which is the more embarrassing fact of the two. Because Mingyu finds extra delight in working Seokmin up until touching his waist doesn't tickle any more.  
  
He's a terrible, mean, boyfriend, Seokmin thinks, all the while really meaning that Mingyu is the best, sweetest, silliest boyfriend. But terrible and mean for all the teasing and tormenting he's come to enjoy doing.  
  
It feels like a personal victory, then, when Mingyu let's out a noise Seokmin's yet to hear him make, and gives a full-body shudder against him. He pauses, lips hovering over the spot he's just been kissing, right behind Mingyu's ear.  
  
A smile curves Seokmin's lips, as realisation sinks in, and he says, sounding very very pleased with himself, even if it _was_ accidental, “Found it.”  
  
“What?” Mingyu asks, sounding a little dazed, and goodness, Seokmin thinks, he really loves how breathy Mingyu sounds like that, as if his mind is slowly floating away. “What is it?” He feels fingers clutching at the back of his shirt.  
  
“Nothing,” Seokmin assures him, though there's a teasing glint in his eyes now, as he leans down, presses his lips once again to flushed skin. Well, he's got to test his theory, right? A couple of times at least, he thinks, to be absolutely sure.  
  
(Seokmin does become absolutely sure).  
  
  
*  
  
  
Love, Seokmin finds, has become much less scary than it first seemed to him. It's not as difficult as he'd first assumed – although it's also not as easy as he may have expected, too – but scary, not so much. At least it's not when it's Mingyu he's traversing this terrain with. There's trust now, in each other, in themselves, and in what they have. Seokmin still finds himself marvelling over it all the time. Finds himself looking over at Mingyu, amazed that they're here together. That this is his.  
  
Sometimes, with the feeling of it all, Seokmin finds his heart and his head in the clouds, but his feet are planted firmly on the ground, and he knows that all of this is real.  
  
  
*  
  
  
Mingyu holds the front door open, as they come back home after their date, both of them still looking a little shaken.  
  
“Why did we _watch_ that?” Mingyu asks, toeing his shoes off before following Seokmin slowly into the kitchen. He gives an exaggerated, full body shudder, in case Seokmin doesn't quite grasp the full extent of his horror.  
  
Seokmin, for his part, has definitely grasped it. Much like Mingyu had grasped him, throughout the entire movie, clutching at Seokmin's arm and letting out soft, little moans of distress every time something even remotely scary happened on screen. He can still feel the pressure of Mingyu's fingers on his forearm, warm little reminders of their evening.  
  
“I wish the movie we'd wanted to see hadn't been sold out,” Seokmin agrees. He'd spent half the movie with his face buried into the relative safety of Mingyu's shoulder, after all.  
  
“The guy at the counter promised us it wasn't actually scary!”  
  
“It definitely was scary.” It's Seokmin's turn to shudder, and he's sure he's going to have nightmares tonight.  
  
“Hey, what are you doing?” Mingyu's voice changes from displeasure to suspicious, and as Seokmin turns from the cupboard he'd been reaching into, his suspicions are confirmed. “You can't be hungry again already! We had dinner, and a giant bag of popcorn between us.”  
  
Seokmin looks only a little sheepish, clutching at his bag of crisps. It's nearly bedtime, which also means it's snacktime. “I'm scared. I eat when I'm scared.”  
  
Mingyu laughs at that, looking entirely unconvinced. “You're not eating those in bed. No, no, don't look at me like that. I mean it,” Mingyu says, closing his eyes against the power of Seokmin's sad, puppy dog eyes. “I hate crumbs in the bed, you know this.”  
  
“But what if...” Still with his snacks in hand, Seokmin steps up close to Mingyu, leans up on his tip-toes – and Mingyu's still stupidly tall, it's not like Seokmin himself is _short_ – and whispers in his ear. “What if I do that thing, that you like?”  
  
Seokmin watches in satisfaction as Mingyu's cheeks flush red as he realises the implication. He loves doing that to Mingyu, catching him off his guard, and making him blush. He hopes he'll always be able to do it, that that's a thing that never fades away over time.  
  
Mingyu seems to take a moment to find his words, swallows heavily, before his eyes meet Seokmin's, and now they look dark. “Before the snacks,” he says, voice a little shaky.  
  
Seokmin nods. “Of course.”  
  
Mingyu nods, and then reaches out, bodily picking up Seokmin, and it takes him by surprise, Seokmin flailing his arms and shouting, as Mingyu carries him off into the bedroom.  
  
There are more and more things still that end up taking Seokmin by surprise after that, not the least of which is how many emotions a person can feel all at once. There's elation, a wild sort of joy, that fills him, and pleasure, of course (he's still trying not to blush) and there's a sense of wanting something so much, and satisfaction in receiving it. (A lot of satisfaction, if he's being honest with himself). It's hard to think, really, and he doesn't try too hard, he's busy just being and feeling and trying to remember how to breathe, because Mingyu keeps leaning in and stealing all the air from Seokmin's lungs with his eager, affectionate kisses.  
  
When Seokmin catches glimpses of Mingyu's face, it looks very much as if he's experiencing the same gamut of feelings as Seokmin. It fills him with wonder, that he can have the same effect as Mingyu has on him.  
  
“You're beautiful,” Mingyu murmurs, between kisses and heaving breaths, and Seokmin feels himself sinking away. He's left only with this, with Mingyu, with them, and these moments of closeness they share together.  
  
It's sometime later, after hearts and breaths are back to normal, when Seokmin would usually be lulled into a comfortable sleep beside Mingyu, and yet he's still awake. He surreptitiously wipes some crumbs off the bed.  
  
“Why are you still awake?” Mingyu asks, voice heavy now with sleep. His eyes open, considering Seokmin.  
  
Maybe not so surreptitiously, then.  
  
It feels silly, as Seokmin says it out loud. “I don't want to sleep. That movie...”  
  
“Oh. I'd forgotten that.”  
  
There's a little flush of warmth, of pleasure, at that. Because it had been Seokmin who'd made Mingyu forget about his fears. It feels good.  
  
“Come here,” Mingyu says, arms opening as Seokmin shuffles closer beside him. He winds his arms around Mingyu, settles his head comfortably against Mingyu's chest. He can hear the steady, constant beating of Mingyu's heart, and the sound helps settle him. “Don't worry, I'll keep you safe. I'll fight the nightmares away.”  
  
Mingyu's words rustle across the top of Seokmin's head in a soft breath.  
  
It's so cheesy and ridiculous, he can't help but laugh a little. He imagines Mingyu as some knight with a sword, fighting off the evil nightmares that try to invade Seokmin's mind. It's stupid, but it makes him laugh again. He feels warm, and so, so full, as if his heart might burst and overflow, with all the emotions and affection that he's trying to keep contained in there.  
  
“What?” Mingyu asks, and now his voice is starting to slur as sleep really does begin to take hold of him.  
  
“Nothing,” Seokmin assures, presses a light kiss to Mingyu's collarbone. “Thank you. Go to sleep.”  
  
He feels Mingyu's arms tighten their hold around him, and thinks that now, he might be able to fall asleep like this. Until another thought floats to the top of Seokmin's mind, and it makes him laugh to realise it. He hears and feels Mingyu's questioning, sleepy grunt, at why Seokmin's still laughing when they should be sleeping.  
  
“You know, I think we might actually be that couple.”  
  
That confession is enough to draw actual words back out of Mingyu's body, and he sounds sleepily triumphant. “I knew it! I told you we were.”  
  
And maybe they are, a little, but they aren't gross and cheesy in public, and only ever a little ridiculous in front of their friends. Either way, Seokmin doesn't care, because he doesn't know any other way of being with Mingyu, and it suits him just fine. “It doesn't matter, though. I don't mind if we are.”  
  
“Still. I was right.”  
  
Seokmin smiles to himself. “Yeah, you were right.” If that's what sleepy Mingyu wants, then Seokmin will let him have it.  
  
He finally finds himself starting to drift off, to the soft sounds of Mingyu's heart and slow, even breathing against him, and Seokmin wonders to himself how the human heart can hold so much emotion for a single person within it.  
  
And then he falls asleep, without a nightmare in sight.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! come scream at me about seokmin and seokgyu @hypergalaxy on tumblr!


End file.
